R U Afraid…of the Aeroplane?

People keep asking me if I’m scared. The answer is, yes. What people mean when they ask if I’m scared though is if I’m scared of picking up and moving to the other side of the world, moving in with a family I’ve never actually met (skype doesn’t count) and staying there for six months. The answer to that is “no” because I’m too busy being terrified of the imminent 17 hour flight.

Fact: I hate airplanes.
Fact: There is no way to survive a plane crash.

Now being the clever, resourceful, and all around wonderful person that I am, I may or may not have come up with a game plan. Federal regulation says I can bring as many 3.4 oz bottles as I want on the airplanes so long as they fit into a quart sized baggie. In addition to being clever, resourceful, and all around wonderful, I am also very good at math. One shot equals 1.5 ounces. There are 32 ounces in a quart. Divide 32 by 1.5 and you get 21 and 1/3 shots, which is more than enough to get me through a 17 hour flight.

If I do this, one of two things can happen:

I can drink my quart of liquor, PTFO (pester the frugal opossums), wake up in Sydney, and not even realize I was ever on a terror-inducing mechanical bird as shown below(minus the nudity, bottles, picnic table, well actually minus everything except the fact that she’s passed out):

Or I will become Annie from Bridesmaids, become extra terrified, and get kicked off of the plane on whatever remote island we happen to be flying over because I mistook a female flight attendants gender:

Seeing as it will probably be the latter, I think I’ll just bring some chocolate milk and a shit-ton of sleeping pills.

**Also, seeing as my family will probably be reading this, I think it would be fairly appropriate to point out that I have no intention on taking 21 shots on the airplane or even bringing booze. In addition, I am in no way affiliated with the girl pictured above. I met her through google images. Thank you for your time and understanding**

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Real Life!

I leave in five days.

I don’t have time to even process what’s happening.

I know if I had had more than two weeks notice about this job then I would have probably talked myself out of it. However, Tina Fey once said to me, and by “said to me” I mean the FSM himself put this article in my life so basically she said it to me, “Say yes and figure it out after” and it’s kind of my new motto. I am just going to go and it’s going to be wonderful. Things will keep unfolding and everything will be ok. I’m kind of an adult now so if anything happens, I’ll figure it out like I always have. I said on new years that this was going to be my year, and it really has been. Sure, some really, really awful things happened in the last few months, but if they hadn’t happened I wouldn’t have had the courage to travel or sign up for a class at Second City, two things that have changed my life drastically for the better.

My family sent me their address today so I was able to see the neighborhood and the house is adorable. My best friend is from a similar area and says its a great location so I’m now even more excited to go!

I finally bought my plane ticket, got my visa, and have started to pack up my place this week. It’s actually happening and I don’t even know what to say except that I know this will be a fantastic experience.

A New Beginning

Hello friends!
I’m starting this blog so you can all keep up to date with the things I’m doing abroad. After many weeks of searching, interviewing, and not finding the right fit, I finally got a job offer as an au pair in Sydney, Australia, which looks to be very promising. I leave in two weeks, which is sudden, but wonderful. Though it’ll be bittersweet to not see my family and friends for six whole months I absolutely cannot wait until I leave!